Mini Movie Review: House of the Dead

6-6-6, Blog post of the Beast!

The fear of the number 666 is known as hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.

In hommage to today being the 6th day of the 6th month, 2006... 6-6-6, i decided to watch the film House of the Dead last night to make a review. Picked up the film this w-e at the flea market. I payed $5 for the film and it's going strat back to Blockbuster where they will give me $5 for it. I should have been paid for my wasted time in watching this one.

As Palmer would say: "Worse film ever!!!!"

It was made by this guy called Uwe Boll, who has made such gems as Alone in the Dark and Blood Rayne. He discovered the video games craze and is about to make a film on the games Dungeon Siege, Postal and Far Cry. His films are so bad that fans of video games have even gone out and made a petition for him to stop making video game themed games. You can find the petitions here and here. These are just sample petition, if you want to see more, type "stop Uwe Boll" in google and look at the results.

Anyhow, back to this horrible piece of junk. House of the Dead opens with five twenty-somethings attempting to reach a rave which is taking place on a small island. They have missed their boat and are desperate to get to "the party of the year" (When I saw the rave, I laughed out loud -- there are about 30 people there.) So, they hire a local captain named Kirk (?!?!), to take them to the party. Once they reach the island, they find that zombies attacked the party and that there's no way off the island.

There is a 20 minute gun battle and they shoot zombies for the sake of shooting zombies with so much ammo that the canadian army would be jealous. I was amazed at how well today's college kids can handle a machine gun and be so precise in their shots.

I'll spare you the details and say that only a handful of them made it off the island when the cops showed up.

Rating: 2 awful directors out of 10.